The Doctor Will Pwn You Now

If I were ever at a bar and saw a bunch of dudes come in with a giant stuffed monkey, I’d think, “Man, these guys are douche bags.” But when it’s ME doing it, for some reason it’s totally awesome.

Thanks to my cousins (who really invested some time and tokens at Dave and Buster's during my bachelor party), I am now the proud owner of a three-foot tall monkey they named “Doctor.”

Out of the 39 pictures my brother took with his camera, Doctor was in 10 of them. I was in 18. So as much as I pride myself on being more interesting than a cheaply made plush toy, it turns out I’m only about eight pictures more interesting.

So I’m a small step above him, but an important step above him (both interesting-wise and evolution-wise).