Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Four Things We Know from the New Star Wars Trailer

Fans officially got a full-blown Star Wars: Episode 7 trailer this week, and with it comes tons of new answers. Luckily, I'm here to make sense of it all for you. Read below for four key questions that have finally been answered in the new The Force Awakens trailer.




What desert planet is that?
While the rolling sand dunes may seem like the desert planet of Tatooine, it’s obvious that we’re actually looking at the once frozen planet of Hoth. Clearly, the pollutants and emissions from so many AT-AT walkers proved too much for Hoth’s fragile eco system, and the planet has completely  melted. Just think of all the dead wampas.


Who is the rolling droid?
Everybody is calling this new droid BB-8, but is it really a new droid? Upon closer examination, one can see that the body is a perfect sphere. You know what else is perfectly sphere? The Death Star. Without a doubt, this innocent looking droid is actually the Death Star hiding in plain sight. The Empire’s treachery knows no boundaries or scale.


Are Han and Leia really hugging?
We catch a quick glimpse of Han and Leia embracing in what appears to be a tender hug. Is it really so innocent, though? Based on the distressed look on Leia’s face, it’s clear as day that Han is actually putting her in a chokehold and killing her. Has Han turned to the dark side? Will Solo kill everyone before it’s too late?


Is Kylo Ren actually Jar Jar Binks?
It’s no coincidence that Kylo Ren’s face isn’t shown and that he’s never in the same room as Jar Jar Binks. Why else is Ren’s voice so distorted unless he’s clearly hiding his native dialect? It sounds much more menacing than “Meesa gonna finish what yooza startee!”

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